Well since the last time i wrote a journal me and jerry were split up, well, now were back together and have been for a while. dont know if thats a good thing, but oh well. anyways,I'm homeless AGAIN, the shelter I was at didnt work out, to say the least. And everythings been going to shit one way or another, I start to get on my feet, things start going good for me, and then, its gone, it's all fucked up, I lose what little bit of a chance i had left.oi. I dunno. I'm pretty, uh, down to say the least. Things with jerry were going great, but they have seemed to get kinda rocky recently. bleh. I mean I am happy with him, but you know me, I smother. I'm always around him, and it starts to drive him nuts. I really annoy him after a while. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.... I guess I just want too much attention. I cant help it. I loved it how we were in the beginning. I love the attention damn it. I love hearing that someone missed me, or that I look pretty today, or that he likes hanging out with me, or he wants to hold my hand, or buy me something, just something stupid cause it reminded him of me....I guess I am asking alot from someone, who isnt exactly experienced in the relationship thing. I dunno..... I love him. alot. It's unreal to me. I've never cared about anybody before as much as I care about him. its nuts. I need to get a home, and a job, and a car, and then i can show him that I'm not a loser, and that I am capable of being independent. but its so hard when no one can help you, or rather wont help you. I keep trying only to get knocked down again. aaaach! enough of my bitching! no more sulking for me damn it! heheh.anyways. I guess I'll write again later.
ciao
Bethany